End Emotional Outsourcing™ Review — A Somatic Deep Dive into Self-Worth and the Female Experience

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits by Beatriz Victoria Albina

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have never had a book resonate with me the way End Emotional Outsourcing™ did. From the very first chapter to the last page, I felt seen, understood, and heard in a way that no other thought framework has ever accomplished before.

As a Positive Intelligence® practitioner, I found this book to be a beautiful continuation of that foundation – taking the awareness of the mind and bringing it into the body, into the lived female experience of care, boundaries, and belonging. End Emotional Outsourcing™ offered me the “female translation” of the mindfulness journey – one that names the emotional labor, the conditioning, and the nervous-system survival patterns that so many of us carry.

Beatriz Victoria Albina’s writing is compassionate, wise, and scientifically grounded. She doesn’t just explain why we outsource our worth – she gently guides us home to ourselves. I bookmarked nearly every page and finished feeling more whole, more grounded, and more seen. This book is a mirror, a map, and a reclamation.

If you’ve ever found yourself over-functioning, people-pleasing, or struggling to feel “enough,” this book will meet you exactly where you are and show you how to come back to yourself.

With love for the journey,

Aimee

What Coaching Is – and What It Isn’t

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

If you’re new to coaching, you might be wondering: What is this, really?

For a long time, I thought coaching was just another word for advice – someone telling you what to do, how to fix your life, how to get your act together. But something about that didn’t sit well with me and when I observed my first coaching session as a student during ICF training, I realized how wrong that idea was.

Coaching isn’t about being told. It’s about being heard. It’s about seeing possibilities you can’t see on your own – and walking away with clarity and courage to take your next step.

It’s not therapy.

It’s not mentoring.

It’s not a lecture.

It’s a safe, brave container for action, honesty, and self-trust.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to be their best personal and professional selves.”

Coaching is a collaborative process where you are the expert on your own life. My role as a coach is to ask powerful questions, reflect what I hear, challenge the patterns that might be holding you back, and hold space while you explore what you really want.

When I began my ICF-accredited training, I saw just how many different types of “coaching” are out there. Many are really just mentorship or consulting – someone with experience in a certain area telling you exactly what they did and encouraging you to follow the same path.

That approach can absolutely be valuable in the right situations, but it’s different from the kind of coaching I practice.

In my work, coaching isn’t about handing over my map for you to follow – it’s about helping you draw your own. Together, we explore where you are, where you want to go, and the steps to get there in a way that fits you. You bring the expertise in your life; I bring the structure, the tools, and the space to think more clearly.

What coaching with me often includes:

✔ Powerful questions that shift your perspective

✔ Space to reflect and clarify what you truly want

✔ Accountability to keep you moving forward

✔ Tools and frameworks, including Positive Intelligence® to help you break free from old patterns and take action with confidence

Coaching works best when you’re ready to make a change – even if you don’t know exactly what that change looks like yet. My role is to help you uncover your own answers and take the next right step with clarity and courage.

💜 Aimee

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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Why I Created ADE Coaching: A Space for Growth and Transformation

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

For years, I lived my life by someone else’s blueprint.

I followed the rules, checked the boxes, and did all the “right” things – career, family, stability – but somewhere along the way, I realized I’d built a life that didn’t fully belong to me. A life that looked fine from the outside but felt misaligned on the inside.

It took unraveling everything I thought I knew to find what I truly needed.

Out of that messy, beautiful transformation, ADE Coaching LLC was born.

Not as a business plan or a perfect next step… but as an offering. A way to support others navigating change, seeking clarity, or stepping into the unknown with courage. A space to be seen, heard, and empowered. A space I wish I had at pivotal moments in my own journey.

What ADE Coaching Is

ADE Coaching is a space for intentional growth, self-discovery, and transformation.

Coaching isn’t about giving advice or fixing people – it’s about helping you find your own answers. It’s rooted in the belief that you are already whole, resourceful, and capable of creating the life you want. Sometimes, you just need the space and support to reconnect with that truth.

As a coach, I meet you exactly where you are – whether you’re feeling stuck, standing at a crossroads, or simply ready for something more. I don’t show up with a magic wand. I show up with presence, curiosity, and a deep belief in your ability to create change.

Together, we explore:

✔️ Self-awareness and self-trust
✔️ Limiting beliefs and mindset shifts
✔️ Actions aligned with your values and vision
✔️ Sustainable progress – not perfection

I’m trained through an ICF-accredited program, which means I hold to the highest standards in the field. My coaching draws on the International Coaching Federation’s Core Competencies, and I’m also trained in the Positive Intelligence® (PQ®) method – a powerful system that helps clients recognize and rewire old thought patterns that no longer serve them.

Why It Matters

I didn’t start ADE Coaching because I had it all figured out.

I started because I know what it feels like to question everything—your identity, your purpose, your next step. I know the power of having someone in your corner who believes in your potential, even when you’re still learning to believe in it yourself.

I created ADE Coaching to be that kind of space.

Not just for advice or pep talks—but for real, grounded transformation. For people ready to live on purpose, from the inside out.

What Comes Next

In this next blog series, I’ll be pulling back the curtain on coaching – what it is (and isn’t), why it works, how Positive Intelligence plays a role, and how to begin listening to your body as a more trustworthy guide than your inner critic.

If you’ve ever thought:

“I’m ready for something more… but I don’t know what that looks like.”

“I want to feel confident in my decisions again.”

“I just wish someone could help me sort through all the noise…”

You’re in the right place.

Here’s to growth, transformation, and taking your next right step – whatever that may be.

💜
Aimee

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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When the Path Becomes Clear

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

Just like that, over the last few weeks, the chaos of the messy middle began to settle.
What once felt scattered and uncertain slowly started to come together – and most of the pieces finally fell into place.
The next steps became clear.

For us, this means two more years in Italy.
I’m choosing to treat it like a fresh start in a place I already love – a new chapter filled with intention, perspective, and growth.
And I’ll be sharing that journey with you – both personally and professionally – as it unfolds.

But clarity doesn’t always arrive so neatly.
Sometimes, it takes months – even years – in the thick of uncertainty before the fog lifts.
And that’s where coaching has made all the difference.

Coaching didn’t give me the answers.
It helped me reclaim my power to find them.

It gave me a safe space to explore options and invited me to take small, intentional steps – even before everything made sense.
It reminded me that forward movement doesn’t require certainty – only courage.

Because the truth is:
We often delay decisions out of fear – fear of making the wrong move, fear of being judged, fear of what we might lose.
But fear rarely leads us to freedom.
Love does. Clarity does.

Powerful decisions come from choosing what aligns with who we’re becoming – not who we’re afraid to be.

For a long time, I believed that if something was meant to happen, it would just fall into place.
I thought I had to wait for permission – or a sign that it was okay to move forward.
But I’ve learned that waiting can be a quiet form of fear.
And sometimes, the opportunity is already in front of you – what’s missing is your decision to act.

Yes, some parts of life are out of our control.
But not everything is.

More often than not, we have choices.
We have agency.
We can act from love instead of fear.
From power instead of paralysis.

That’s what I did.
I asked the questions.
I did the research.
I leaned into the uncertainty and took action anyway.

Eventually, things began to shift.
The clarity I had been waiting for didn’t appear before the movement – it came because of it.

That’s what coaching is about.

It’s not about fixing you.
It’s not about handing you answers.

It’s about creating a space safe enough for you to hear yourself again – a space where decisions are rooted in love, clarity, and personal power.
Not fear.
Not guilt.
Not pressure.

So let me ask:

What are you waiting for?
What’s one small step you can take today – from a place of love and power – something future you will thank you for?

In the next series of blog posts, I’ll be sharing more about my coaching journey:

  • Why I started ADE Coaching LLC
  • What coaching actually is (and what it isn’t)
  • How a method called Positive Intelligence® has helped me and my clients move forward with courage and intention

This is where clarity meets momentum.
And I’m so glad you’re here.

💜

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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The Power of Tiny Steps

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I used to believe that if I couldn’t get it perfect, it wasn’t worth doing at all. All or nothing – that was my pattern. If I couldn’t wake up at 5 a.m. to workout six days a week, I’d quit altogether. If I couldn’t guarantee success, I wouldn’t even try. If there was a chance I’d fail, I’d talk myself out of it and say I wasn’t interested anyway.

Big dreams, but no room for small steps. No flexibility. No grace for being human.

It took me years – decades, really – to learn that momentum isn’t built in giant leaps. It’s built in tiny, often unremarkable steps. The first imperfect action. The messy first draft. The resume you send at the last minute, just to see what happens. The question you dare to ask – and the unexpected yes you get back.

I didn’t know this when I was younger, but tiny steps are the seeds of real change. They’re proof that you trust yourself enough to begin – even when you can’t see the finish line yet.

When I look back now, the biggest changes in my life didn’t come from a single moment of clarity. They came from a series of tiny choices: the moments I gave myself permission to try, to fail, to learn, to try again.

One day I opened an email about internal coach training – something that was supposed to be “one day”, something I wasn’t “qualified” for, something my rank didn’t align with, something that seemed too big for me. But I thought: the worst they can say is no. So I hit submit on the application at the last possible minute. Tiny step. They said yes. That tiny step turned into a door swinging open. I kept taking those tiny steps, one after another: showing up for the training, practicing, fumbling, failing, learning, improving. And here I am – still learning, still stepping forward.

This is the truth behind every “big leap” you see from the outside: it’s not one leap. It’s a thousand tiny steps.

Today, I’m taking another step – one I’ve dreamed of for years. For the conclusion of this Messy Middle series, I’m so proud to share that I’ve legally registered my business: ADE Coaching LLC. This isn’t just about having a business. It’s about choosing to trust that my story, my skills, my purpose, and my calling all matter enough to keep showing up — even when I’m still figuring out the how.

If you’ve been reading my Messy Middle series, thank you. Thank you for letting me share the scattered puzzle pieces, the fear, the doubts, and the gentle unfolding of what comes next.

I hope if you take anything from these letters, it’s this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to wait for perfect conditions. You don’t have to leap the whole distance today. You just have to take one tiny step that future you will thank you for.

💜 So here’s my invitation for you: What’s one small thing you could say yes to today? One question you could ask. One door you could knock on. One thing you could try, even if it’s messy.

Tiny steps build a life. Tiny steps change everything.

ADE Coaching LLC is my next step. If you’d like someone to walk beside you as you take yours, I’d be honored to be there.

Here’s to tiny steps. Here’s to the next right thing. Here’s to the brave work of becoming. 💜

Choosing the Harder, Better Path

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

Disclaimer: I know our peaceful co-parenting journey is the exception, not the rule. This model is not for everyone and requires a high level of emotional maturity and mutual respect. It may not be possible – or safe – for anyone leaving an abusive situation or when a co-parent cannot put aside anger or pain for the sake of their child.

Above all, please stay safe and honor the boundaries of your own situation. If peaceful co-parenting isn’t an option for you, know that healing and happiness after divorce are still possible. Everyone’s story is unique – I share mine here to offer perspective, not a prescription. I encourage you to trust your own path and create what’s best for you. I’m here to walk alongside you as you figure out what that looks like. 💜

I was reflecting recently on the time I moved to Italy in 2020. Yes – halfway across the world, with my daughter and two dogs, during a global pandemic.

It sounds wild even now. But despite all the hurdles, the delays, the endless logistics of shipping a household and pets overseas in the middle of lockdowns (and a hurricane that left me trapped in my house due to flooding the day before my flights) – I knew exactly why I was doing it.

I was moving to Italy to give my daughter the chance to have a stable relationship with her father after our divorce. Just because I didn’t want to stay married didn’t mean this bright, beautiful little girl didn’t deserve a real connection with her dad.

There were so many moments of uncertainty. People asked if I ever thought, “Maybe this just isn’t the right time to move to Italy?” That question once took me completely off guard – because the truth is, the thought never crossed my mind.

The path wasn’t easy. But my why was bigger than any obstacle in front of me.

It wasn’t a matter of “No” I just hadn’t found the “How” yet.

For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of living in Europe. When I made the hard choice to leave my marriage – to choose healing and peace instead of staying because it was familiar – I knew I’d have to find my own way to make that dream possible. So I did. Little by little, the path opened up. One phone call, one hurdle, one creative solution at a time.

At the time, a lot of people couldn’t see what I saw. Some told me peaceful co-parenting was unrealistic. Some told me I didn’t understand how messy divorce really was.

But here’s what I’ve learned about choosing the harder, better path:
You don’t need everyone’s approval for your vision.
It’s not your job to convince the world.
It’s your job to paint the picture anyway – by living it.

I didn’t know if I had what it would take to be a single mom overseas. I didn’t know exactly how I’d manage the fear and uncertainty. But when I looked into my daughter’s eyes, I knew she deserved every chance in life – even if I had to figure it out step by step.

Five years on, I have no regrets. Despite the fear, despite the what-ifs, it was the right choice for us. Many who couldn’t see the vision back then now see the bigger picture too.

The same lesson is true for me now as I pursue my purpose through coaching.

I don’t have every answer about running a business. Some days I wonder if I really have what it takes. But my why shines brighter than any excuse or obstacle that tries to get in the way. So I keep taking the next right step, trusting that the path will appear as it always does – one brave choice at a time.

Are you standing at your own crossroads right now? Facing uncertainty? Feeling called to something bigger than your current reality?

I see you.
I’ve been there.
And I’d be honored to walk that path beside you – one piece at a time – if you’re ready to take the next brave step toward the life you really want.

💜 Here’s to choosing the harder, better path – and trusting it will lead you home.

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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Building Purpose

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

When I made the decision to embrace change and rebuild my entire life using only the parts that truly resonated with me, I had no idea what the future would look like.

I had followed all the “right” steps according to the world: the job, the husband, the baby, the house, the car – even two dogs and a cat. But I was absolutely drowning in it all. When I paused to look around, I realized I’d built my life using someone else’s blueprint for my life. I was living a version of “the dream” that was never really mine.

I held tightly to that life because I thought I was supposed to. But in doing so, I went completely numb. Life became a never-ending cycle of checklists and responsibilities – all in service of maintaining the façade and keeping up a picture-perfect version of life for the world to see.

It wasn’t until I felt the first spark inside me that I remembered something I had long forgotten:
I have a purpose.
One that’s far greater than completing a chore list or maintaining appearances.

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life have come from helping make dreams come true. I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face – pure joy – as he hang glided for the first time. It had been a lifelong dream of his, and I helped make it happen. In that moment, something inside me lit up.
Whatever this is, I thought, this is what I’m meant to do.

Then, in 2020, came a wake-up call I couldn’t ignore.

Shortly after retiring, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Within a year, he was gone.

Retirement was meant to be his season of joy – a chance to finally enjoy life with my mom and do the things he’d put off for the sake of raising a family. But time ran out. The message hit me hard:
Life is too short to live any life but your own.

That was the moment the passion for more ignited in me.

I didn’t want a life of just maintaining. I wanted to make a real difference. When I discovered coaching, I knew it was the practice I had been searching for all along. Still, I wanted to offer the world more than just my own intuition – I wanted to offer skill, structure, and integrity.

Through my full-time job, I was accepted into a training program accredited by the International Coaching Federation to become an internal coach. And it changed everything.

I never set out to build a business. In fact, for a long time, I never even saw myself as someone who could. But eventually, I bumped up against the limits of what internal coaching could offer – and something inside me wanted to dream bigger.

For me, intentionally crafting an authentic life also meant pursuing work that mattered – work aligned with my purpose, even when the path felt unclear and chaotic at best.

So here I am, taking the first uncertain steps into this new world – armed with a website, unfamiliar software, and some of the brightest, boldest dreams I’ve ever dared to claim: to make a difference in the lives of those around me.

Every chaotic step has challenged me to choose: stay where it’s easy, or keep reaching for what feels right.

In my next post, I’ll share what it really looks like to choose the harder, better path — and why I believe it’s always worth it.

Until then, if you’re standing at your own crossroads between comfort and calling, I see you. You’re not alone.

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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When Fear Freezes Progress

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

I was just about to hit publish on the original Day 3 post when it happened-I froze.
Suddenly every familiar doubt came rushing in:

  • What if I’m not good enough?
  • What if no one cares?
  • Who am I to have these big dreams?

Putting your purpose out into the world – making it real – is breathtakingly vulnerable. And yes, incredibly scary.

The Old Questions Resurface

I’ve battled this voice before. I spent a lot of my life trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be – likable, responsible, never too much. That pattern eventually turned into a quiet belief that who I was, as I was, might not be enough. Even now, those patterns surface:

  • What will people think if I fail?
  • Do people even like me?
  • Can I really build a business?

Coaches Feel It Too

Imposter syndrome is real. Fear and freeze responses are universal – even for coaches. The work isn’t about never feeling fear; it’s about processing it and moving through the feeling to the other side.

Intentionally crafting an authentic life means pursuing work aligned with purpose, even when the path feels unclear and chaotic at best. It means taking the first uncertain steps and then the next, trusting that clarity arrives in motion.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s choosing to act while your heart is still pounding.

Living in the Messy Middle

This is the Messy Middle – the awkward expanse between where we’ve been and where we’re going. Puzzle pieces everywhere, border set, picture unfinished. Progress, not perfection.

I don’t have it all figured out and I won’t pretend to. But I’m grateful you’re here while we both figure out where the pieces belong.

An Invitation

If you’re standing at your own crossroads – caught between comfort and calling – I see you. You are not alone. 💜

Let’s keep doing the brave work of building a life piece by piece. For me, that means publishing this post, continuing this series, and growing my coaching practice – even scared.

What fear are you facing right now as you move toward your purpose? Share below so we can cheer each other on.

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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Redefining Home

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

Growing up, our home was chaotic. Our lives were chaotic. And that was just the way things were. It wasn’t a negative experience – we were just busy. As the youngest of three girls, there was always something going on. I learned to adapt quickly, to be whatever was expected of me in the moment, and to avoid adding more to the noise. That often meant burying my emotions and keeping everything inside.

My mind was always active, even when I appeared calm on the outside.

Like many of us, I grew up with layers of expectations – external and internal. I was always evaluating the situation, thinking, overthinking, and rethinking:
Did anyone really like me? Was I good enough? Was I making my parents proud?
I constantly teetered between trying not to be too much and desperately trying to figure out where I fit. Peace wasn’t something I remember ever really feeling.

Many years ago, the energy in the room shifted the moment I first laid eyes on the man who is now my significant other. He was completely different from any man I’d ever met… in all the best ways. Emotionally open. Communicative. Accepting. He encouraged me to talk about the things I’d kept buried for years and to follow my own path – even when others didn’t understand it. He never made me feel like I was too much, or not enough.

When our lives went in different directions, he remained a quiet constant – offering his friendship without expectation. Though we eventually lost touch, the unconditional love he once showed me stayed with me.

Years later, after my divorce, we reconnected. For so long, I’d clung to the belief that I was broken. That I was damaged. That belief shaped how I saw myself – and how I moved through life. But this man stepped back into my story and quieted the storms in my mind. He loved all my broken pieces. And little by little, I started to heal.

During a guided meditation one day, I was asked to envision “home” – my safe space. Without hesitation, he came to mind. But I immediately resisted the idea. A person can’t be home, I told myself. People aren’t reliable. People bring risk. But as I reflected more deeply, I realized it wasn’t just him. It was the peace he brought. The safety he created. That experience marked the beginning of a major shift for me.

Home was no longer a place.
It became a feeling.

A feeling I want my daughter to know.
A feeling I want to build into the foundation of our physical home.
Unwavering, unconditional love. Peace. Safety.

For so long, home meant a house, a zip code, a geographic point on the map. These days, home looks more like the people I love and the life we’re building together—even if that means navigating a hundred little unknowns in the messy middle to get there.

Of course, redefining home was only part of it. Intentionally crafting a life also meant creating work that mattered — work aligned with my purpose, even when the path felt unclear and chaotic at best. In my next post, I’ll share how that journey toward meaningful work began, one uncertain step at a time.

If you’ve ever had to redefine what “home” means for you, I’d love to hear your story.
What does home feel like to you now – compared to what it used to be? And if you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe below to receive new Letters from Life as they’re shared.

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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When the Puzzle Pieces Are Scattered

On By Aimee MurrayLeave a comment

The paths we take in life have always fascinated me. To look at the many chapters that have come and gone and realize how far we have come – but also to realize this is only the beginning of the chapter we hope to create. There are new chapters ahead that I hope will bring more quality time, peace, and happiness to our family.

We know what we want to build but right now we are in the middle of getting there and things are scattered. Like puzzle pieces scattered across the table. We’ve gotten the border in place, but the main picture hasn’t come together yet.

I’ve spent the last several years carefully sorting through my puzzle pieces to determine which ones belong in my puzzle and which ones were mixed in by others along the way. (Those are all stories for another day) You’ll come to learn: I really do love a good puzzle analogy!

Right now, I find myself in the messy middle – that tender space between where I’ve been and where I’m going. I invite you to come along with me on the journey. I know what I want life to feel like, even if I’m still figuring out how all the pieces come together. I’ve learned that staying curious and open to the unknown allows the path to unfold in its right time.

We continue moving forward through life, bravely taking each next right step as it’s revealed. I don’t have it all figured out and I don’t claim to be an expert, but I do promise to hold a safe space for all your messy middles, uncertain beginnings and transformative endings as I hope you will do for me in return.

If this letter resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.

What puzzle pieces are you currently sorting through in your own life?

Feel free to share in the comments – your story might be the encouragement someone else needs today.

And if you’d like to follow along as the rest of my picture comes together, you can subscribe below to receive future “Letters from Life” straight to your inbox.

Here’s to the brave work of building a life piece by piece. On Friday, I’ll share how redefining home — not as a place, but as a feeling — became the first step toward living with more peace, authenticity, and purpose.

Ready to take the next step?
If you’re navigating your own “messy middle” and want support, I’d be honored to walk with you.

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